So...

Same time next week?

Only with jaguars...or cicadas...or the Large Hadron Collider...or Halley's comet...or, the classic, a Flood?

I cast my vote for all of these world ending sh*t disturbing events at once. The flood will put out the fires and drown the jaguars, and then the survivors can dismantle the LHC and use the parts to build an arc. The appearance of the cicada swarm will indicate that we have sailed to the shore.

There, we will find a rainbow.

So much more compelling than the reappearance of a short, bearded Jewish man.

The Swarm is Upon Us!

The largest brood of cicadas is due to emerge in the U.S. How exciting!

They are of the enchanting-sounding Magicicada subspecies, and they will be down along the east coast from Maryland to Georgia, and in the Midwest from Iowa to Oklahoma. Report sighting and find out more here.

When I first saw a cicada in Illinois I had a purple meltdown and smashed it with a tennis racket. The insect did not die quietly. Cicadas rarely do anything quietly.

P.S: Clearly, the rapture is nigh!